Hotel California

As I entered the first thing I encountered was the gentleman at the front desk in a heated argument with a person who had been staying there. They were going back and forth over some obscene action the man made at another guest involving moving his bowels in one of the dorm rooms. I knew that this place was definitely going to be the later of my two predictions.
As the men continued yelling at each other I took a seat on an old red colored crushed velvet couch, that had seen its prime thirty years before. Off in the corner was an old television set that had been stacked upon another, assumingly broken TV, where the nightly news was playing as it flickered and buzzed with interference.

The men continued to go back and forth when finally the man being accused of defecating in his room said "I don't need this shit" to which the man at the desk responded "I don't need to be cleaning up your shit!" The man then threw his key down and stormed out into the street. The man at the counter fit the classic Hollywood trying to make it in the biz profile. He didn't half to tell me you could just tell. He was tall, had long brown hair which he tied back in a ponytail, and had certain features which would lead one to believe he was in the porno biz. He leaned over and said to me "Sorry about all that how can I help you?" Before I could get a word out he continued on "some people you know man, I mean who takes a shit in the middle of a floor?" I didn't have an answer for that, but I replied "I'm looking for a room, but preferably not that one." He gave out a small chuckle in response, then began flipping through his guest ledger and book. "you want to stay one night or two?" he asked, "because if you want to stay another night, I'll have to move you to another room tomorrow." After what I had just witnessed I could only imagine what types where also staying here and opted for just one night. He then looked back at me and took in my facial features very carefully asking me "You ever stayed here before?" I half laughed and said "no, maybe in another life!" He then looked me over again and said "I believe you and all man, but you look like a dude that skipped out of here without paying so I'm going to have to check your ID."

With all that nonsense out of the way, I was given the standard rundown of rules and what not, and then pointed out a backdoor across an alley to a small house that was on the side of the main building. I entered through the back door walking through a filthy kitchen around into a central common area where I took notice of three very strange individuals, then around another turn and up a flight of shallow stairs where I arrived at my designated room. I fumbled with the key as I tried to open door, but to my dismay, the locked door could just be pushed open. Inside the room lie a very unpleasant smell. Luckily for me it wasn't the smell of fecal material, but more of sweaty dirty clothes kind of smell, that was just as unpleasant. I looked about for my bunk, but all were seemed to be taken, covered in the useless possessions and clothes that had been strewn about the room. One of the bottom bunks was laking sheets, which led me to believe that under all the crap it was covered in, I would be sleeping there.

I just took all the stuff that was on the bed and began to carefully place it off to the side. This led my attention to the discovery of a massive stain that the removal of said items covered. I shivered as I thought about the possibility of what might have caused this mighty and foul stain. Upon closer inspection I thanked God that the stain was dry, and began the process of covering it up with my sheets. The pillow on the bed revealed just a frightening site, it had a deep yellow brown stain on it, as if it had been slept on thousands of times with out placing it in a pillow case.

The smell of the room was overwhelming and I thought about how I was going to be able to sleep in such foul conditions, a park bench was shaping up to be a better option. I needed a break from all this and went down stairs to the common area. I took a seat on a couch, that looked like it had been dragged out of the city dump, rats, smell and all! It was one of those couches you sit on, and you don't want to lean back because your afraid what you might be leaning into. It was one of those couch's you don't even want touching any of your unclothed body parts in fear that you might pick up some sort of parasite. It was one of those couch's you would expect to find in a drunken frat house, that only God knows what took place on it. Suffice it to say, I would have felt more comfortable sitting on the floor but it was coated with some sort of sticky substance.

The three I had rushed past earlier were still mulling around the area. As I sat on the couch I pulled out my computer and attempted to see if I could find a wireless connection. Just as I did this a small Middle Eastern Fellow in a Hawaiian shirt and black khakis violently sat down on the couch next to me. Instantly I was punched in the face by the overwhelming foul smell of body Odor. I half held my breath as I attempted to do things on computer, when he rudely leaned over to see what I was doing. "what is this?" he said, "This computer what is it?" I was a bit taken back by his brazen action and responded "ahh its just a Dell" He came back "Dell?......Dell is good?"

"well.." I said, "I wouldn't exactly call it good, but for the money....." He then looked at me in a stern manner "so its Shit! I need to get a computer maybe I get that maybe i get better. I am in school for computers." I couldn't help but wonder if he was in school for computers, why was he asking me about my computer, let alone not know what a Dell is? So I asked "where do you go to school for computers?" he replied with a harsh "ENGLAND! I am from England!" He then asked me where I was from, So I told him "I'm from Chicago." He looked at me with an evil look in his eyes and said "CHICAGO, I know this city, is SHIT! I know all about this city, I no like you!" he sprang up from the couch, to the relief of my nostrils, and walked out of the room.

The two others in the room didn't seem the least bit fazed or surprised by his actions they kept on with there business of trying to gain reception on another ancient TV that lie in the room. One of the two men kept shuffling about between the TV and the small chair in the corner. He had three large packs clipped to his waist, and a large pack affixed to his back, that looked quite heavy and had him hunching. He would take his pack off and place it next to him as he sat in a small chair, then every five minutes or so he would stand up, put his pack on, and go through the process of clipping it up and walk five feet to bang on the TV. Then he would walk back to his small chair and go back through the process of unclipping and taking his pack off. He kept up this odd behavior for the hour I spent In the room.

The other Gentlemen in the room came over and lied face down on an equally disgusting couch that laid adjacent to the one I was sitting on. he then proceeded to bury his face in one of the pillows as he looked to find a comfortable position to watch TV in. I cringed at the thought of what he was unknowingly rubbing his face in. He must of seen the look on my face as he wallowed around on the couch and said "What?" I shook my head and said "oh nothing, its just. eh never mind." He didn't press the mater instead he introduced himself and before long was telling me of his Hollywood exasperation's. "yeah I'm here to get into the entertainment industry." Naturally I assumed he was an actor so I asked "So, your an actor?" This led to unexpected response "well, not exactly, I never acted before, but I think it would be a good way to make some cash." in a very innocent way he said "I've seen enough movies, to know how its done, it can't be that hard." I bit my tongue on mocking him, knowing he would learn the harsh reality's soon enough. Then again maybe he'll be the next Tom Cruise.

I was just about to retire for the evening when I heard a bunch of commotion out front. Upon further investigation, the man who ran the front desk was engaged in fisticuffs with another former tenant who was brandishing a guitar. He screamed at the guy who was trying to gain access to the hostel "I told you, not to come back here!" The man pleaded and was obviously very drunk "come on man, I need a place to stay.." "Well you can't stay here, that's what you get when you skip on a bill, so beat it!" The one man became even more enraged and lurched forth swing his guitar at the other. The other man easily bobbed and weaved out of the way of the wildly flailing guitar and connected with one solid punch to the mans face knocking him flat to the ground. "Look what you made me do!" yelled the man as he stood over the fallen reveler. "now I got to call the cops......why the fuck did you make me do that." Only slight moans could be herd in response. It wasn't before long that the police and an ambulance showed up. The man who was laid out was arrested and the man who knocked him out was given a pat on the back by the police. I thought it would go the other way, but none us onlookers stepped up to say otherwise.