Kung Fu Hustle

Walking about Chinatown in San Francisco has the feel of actually being in China, or at least some Asian place. It’s a hustle and bustling with people and street vendors vying for your attention. I was hungry by now and it was a little after 2 so I figured I could get a great deal on a cheap Chinese lunch. I made my way up the street looking in various windows in search of cheap eats, but to my dismay none caught my eye. I took a turn off the main drag and found myself standing in front of a restaurant called, Chinese Restaurant. As I glanced over a menu that had been hung on the side of the building a short Asian woman tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and she forced a piece of paper into my hand wile saying in a very rapid manner, “You hungry! You Hungry! Go eat now, sic dolla special. sic dolla special you go now!” She then lifted her hand put it on my back and began to gently coerce me into the building. I was hungry and the “sic dolla” special sounded good, even though I had no idea what it was.

The woman brought me inside, showing me around a corner and up a set of stairs to a large dining area filled with only a few patrons.  She then guided me to a table near an open balcony pulling the chair out in a gesture that this would be my place to sit. I sat there for quite some bit before a waiter made his way over. I ordered a coke and the special, making sure to clearly state the “lunch SPECIAL.” He nodded his head and replied “ah, very good, special.”

It wasn’t before long that my food arrived I think it wasn’t worthy of the title “special.” It was some sort of beef with sesame seeds on it and some strange sautéed vegetables. I made quick work of the dish, and at the end of the meal was surprised with a complimentary scoop of Green Tea ice cream and a fortune cookie. To my surprise the ice cream was quite good, and my fortune seemed bright “a new business venture will bring you success.”  

After I had finished the waiter came by and dropped the check on a small tray. To my surprise my meal had come to a staggering $20.00! I then reviewed the check to see what the hell I had been charged for

     Special-----------$13.12
     Coke--------------$ 3.48
      Tax-------------- $5.50
Total-----------------------$20.00


I don’t know what kind of funny math they were using here, but I had ordered what I thought was a $6.00 lunch special, I didn’t even want to get started on the tax. I flaged the waiter down to ask about the discrepancy, to which I said “excuse me, I thought the lunch special was six dollars?” “oh no,” he replied “no special twev dolla.” I looked at him in a perplexed and shocked manner wondering how the meager portion and lacking entrée could have possible cost that much. I asked him again “are you sure? The woman outside told me that the special was six dollars.” He looked me strait in the eyes and said “no she wrong, it twev dolla!”  I pulled out my credit card and placed it on the tray in defeat. There was no disputing this, I had been hustled by a seemingly legit restaurant. What recourse did I have besides the whole “he said, she said?” I feared that pushing the mater would have me dragged down a back alley to be turned into what ever I had just eaten.