The Monterey UN

An Italian, a Japanese, and a Hasidic Jew all walk into a dorm room. No this isn’t the start of a bad joke, but the our limited abilities to communicate with each other would be.

All three of them barley spoke any English. All them were translating there thoughts into English, and then back into their respected languages. Here’s a little of how it went.

ME: So how long you all staying here?
     A puzzled look was on all their faces as they attempted to understand what I just said.
JAPANESE: ahhhhhh………staying? Here? In California?
ITALIAN: ahhhhh…….you say here (points to the ground) Monterey?
HASIDIC:……ah Monterey is a nice place.

M: No, no I mean yes Monterey
I  : Yes California or…….you say here (points to the ground again) you….USA?
J  :  ah yes I ah work here Monterey is very nice a place.
H : ………….
M: so you’re all staying here?
I  : in USA? Yes I here…….(raises hand up) maybe 4 days…..I dunno.
J  : yes USA very good…much better then Japan.
H : aahhh yes I like it here very much.
M:  no I meant here, in Monterey
I  :No? (raises his hand up) you mean no here? No USA?
J : No….he mean no here no USA.
H …………………
M: No I meant….here in Monterey.
I  :Ahhh yes is a very good!
J : Yes a it a very nice!
H: ah its good.

We went around in a circle like this for hours trying to talk on a wide range of topics with limited ability to understand English vocabulary. It took me half an hour to explain what an easy girl was. The Japanese fellow liked the prospect of American woman claiming that in Japan he was “no good, dirty, crazy! No Japanese woman want.” oddly enough the Italian came back and said “that’s ok you-a fit-in-a-nice-a with the American boys.” To which the Japanese seemed insulted “BOY? I no boy….MAN is no boy.” The Italian tried to explaining what he meant but only Italian came out of his mouth. The Hasidic just sat there looking at us and then picked up his Bible and began reading from it aloud. It was the oddest thing ever, it was like being at a UN meeting.